Real Grown ups

The countdown has ended. 
She is here
Hide your young

Thats right, my grandma's down "for a few days". As a result of which we have been cleaning like real grown ups. 
The only problem is trying to look at a messy house like a real grown up. 
Where a real grown up looks at a mess and thinks "once I fix it, it'll be done and dusted then i can relax"
My brain = OH GOD THERES SO MUCH TO DO, I'LL DIE BEFORE I FINISH IT......

Overreaction to cleaning perhaps?
I Didn't think so..

Fuckkit 
-flops on couch and studiously ignores the mess in the house...aka...ignores all surroundings bar the laptop-


This was Saturday night and as we are such social kings we were spending the night at home watching Doctor Who and Family Guy, at about 10:30 Dylan and I decided the time was ripe for sleeping and proceeded to the bedroom. After wading through clothes and junk to get to the bed I attempted to get some sleep. Just as i was dozing off Neytiri wakes up for a feed. 
Great.


I get back into bed and our cat Gypsy was all

I ignored her breathing down my neck because I know that once I begin the patting cycle...it never ends. I'm fairly sure Gypsy knew I was only pretending to be asleep because just as I was falling asleep she peed on my leg, all over the covers straight through to the sheet.
This is pretty much how that went: 
Me: aww she's cuddling up on my leg, she's so nice, I love my kitty....What the fuck is warm
GYPSYYYYY YOU BASTARD 


-Chases through house naked screaming at-

Then I realized that Dylan's little brother (Squid) was staying the night, and was sitting on our couch wondering why the hell I was stampeding up and down the hallway screaming about gypsy's.
At this point i decided that the Gods were against me sleeping at all that fateful night, so I decided to pull myself out of my guilt-shame spiral and actually do some cleaning.
First things first. 


We needed COFFEE

I Love coffee, I really do.. but I am also a FIEND for sugar. It sends me mad, and when I go mad my laugh turns into that of a chipmunk. So after 2 of our legendary coffees we were


READY TO CLEAN

We ran around in a mad frenzy, LIKE MADMEN WE WERE. We managed to get the house down in just under 3 hours...quite a feat in my opinion.
Then


DISASTER STRIKES

I hate refraining from screaming when a situation clearly calls for it, but the baby was asleep. So I gave a rather pathetic squeak and fled from the room. Squid had no idea what was going on until the spider began approaching him for HIS man-flesh (woman-flesh?). Then he too proceeded to flee. 
All spiders need to die, horrifically in my opinion, so I sent brave Squid back into the spiders midst armed with one of my $2 thongs from Big W, warning him that if i couldn't see the blood on my shoe i would know he hadn't killed it and he would not be allowed out of the room until it was dead.

Once squid had satisfied me (sounds great) he was allowed out of the bathroom.


JOY!!


The Cleaning was COMPLETE
Unfortunately the coffee hadn't worn off, wide eyed and bored out of our brains, we turned to early morning infomercials, 10 minutes later we wanted to kill ourselves.
So we decided that 4am was the perfect time to do some baking
We were wrong. 


I hit a brick wall, died on the inside, and realised i was more tired than i had been EVER
so we watched Dr Who and passed out




So yeah, first blog post, hope you enjoyed it.